Como ter Relacionamentos Saudáveis e se Livrar dos Ciúmes?

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Olá minhas amadas, tudo bem? Como se livrar dos ciúmes, ter relacionamentos saudáveis, felizes e duradouros é uma pergunta que vocês se fazem?

Um assunto muito comum quando falamos em relacionamentos amorosos são os ciúmes.

Ele é um componente muito bom para a relação quando moderado pelo casal e faz parte de qualquer relacionamento amoroso, se os dois sentem ciúmes um do outro de maneira controlada é sinal de que se amam, estão atentos e se importam com a relação.

No entanto, não são todos que conseguem agir dessa maneira, isso acontece porque o ciúme sempre tem origem em nossas experiências agradáveis (que não queremos perder) quanto desagradáveis (queremos evitar que aconteçam novamente).

Frases como: “Sou muito possessiva”, “Sou muito insegura”, “Sempre penso que vou ser traída”, “Não confio no meu namorado/marido”, “Todos os homens traem”, pairam os pensamentos de muitas mulheres causando muitos conflitos internos e para o casal.

O ciúme em excesso é fonte de muitos fins de relacionamentos amorosos, ele destaca aspectos psicológicos que denotam solidão, conflitos internos, angústia.

A pessoa ciumenta deixa de olhar para si, preocupar-se com seus objetivos pessoais e foca sua atenção para a vida do outro, tentando controlar.

Sabemos que só é possível controlar as nossas próprias emoções e comportamentos, que tomar posse dos sentimentos do outro é impossível.

Para modificar o ciúme excessivo é necessário reconstruir a autoestima que está prejudicada, já que o foco da atenção do ciumento em excesso é o outro o que causa o auto-abandono e junto com ela fortalecer o modificar sentimentos negativos.

Esta reconstrução é feita a partir do momento em que a pessoa decide focar em suas motivações, trabalhar seus conflitos pessoais, confrontando as experiências desagradáveis e desenvolvendo mecanismos eficazes para que as experiências ruins não deixem “feridas abertas” ou cicatrizes profundas.

É fundamental ter consciência de que não é possível nem saudável querer controlar alguém, quando a pessoa passar a cuidar de si mesma e se valorizar ela está apta a atrair e conquistar uma vida amorosa plena.

A seguir trago para vocês um teste elaborado por Hubert Happel que pode ajuda-las a conhecer aspectos e constatações diárias nas quais nos envolvemos em nossas relações.

Assinale as reações que melhor se adapte à sua pessoa marcando as alternativas em cada questão e depois reflita sobre possíveis resultados:

Como ter Relacionamentos Saudáveis e se Livrar dos Ciúmes? Reação Nº 01

Seu parceiro lhe conta que ficou conversando com uma pessoa de quem gostou bastante. Trata-se de um (a) novo (a) amigo (a) do trabalho.

Como ter Relacionamentos Saudáveis

Qual sua reação?

a) Você quer falar com essa pessoa o quanto antes
b) Você fica contente com essa nova amizade dele (a) e sugere um encontro a três.
c) Você fica contrariado (a) e muda de assunto
d) Você deixa claro que não tem nada contra as amizades profissionais, mas pergunta se ele tem logo a necessidade de transformar a pessoa em amigo (a).

Como ter Relacionamentos Saudáveis e se Livrar dos Ciúmes? Reação Nº 02

Você conhece uma pessoa e gosta dela. Qual será sua a reação diante de seu parceiro?

Como ter Relacionamentos Saudáveis

a) Você apresenta logo essa nova pessoa a ele (a) para que também faça amizade
b) Você conta da nova amizade, mas evita um encontro, porque tem medo da reação do parceiro
c) Você não conta nada sobre a nova amizade
d) Você fala da nova amizade, mas não sugere um encontro a três justificando que talvez seu parceiro não goste dessa nova pessoa.

Como ter Relacionamentos Saudáveis e se Livrar dos Ciúmes?Reação Nº 03

Você assiste junto com o parceiro um filme na qual o sexo desempenha um papel importante. Qual será sua reação nas cenas “quentes” e intimas.

Como ter Relacionamentos Saudáveis

a) Você observa o parceiro enquanto ele está assistindo a cena e se sente posto de lado (em segundo plano)
b) Você continua a agir da mesma forma durante todo o filme, ou seja, é natural e neutro independente do tipo de cena que está sendo apresentada e mantém simpatia com seu parceiro.
c) Você se sente constrangido (a) e fica querendo que a cena chegue logo ao fim.
d) Você se ente desconfortável a ponto de querer mudar de filme ou desligar o aparelho.

Como ter Relacionamentos Saudáveis e se Livrar dos Ciúmes?Reação Nº 04

Você e seu parceiro encontram sem querer com antigos amigos (as) dele (a) que você ainda não conhecia. Qual será sua provável atitude?

Como ter Relacionamentos Saudáveis

a) Você mantém uma atitude de reserva e quer que o encontro termine o quanto antes.
b) Você se interessa pelos antigos amigos (as) dele (a)
c) Você adota uma atitude áspera e tenta sair dali ou deixá-lo sozinho com seus amigos (as)
d) Você se sente satisfeito por encontrar pessoas que já fizeram parte da vida de seu parceiro e as convida para fazerem uma visita ou para próximos encontros.

Como ter Relacionamentos Saudáveis e se Livrar dos Ciúmes?Reação Nº 05

Seu parceiro, por motivos profissionais, deve participar de um treinamento durante todo um final de semana e logicamente não pode levá-lo (a). Qual será sua possível reação?

Como ter Relacionamentos Saudáveis

a) Você faz drama e consegue obrigar seu parceiro de não ir.
b) Você acha o fato perfeitamente normal e resolve fazer qualquer outra atividade durante esse final de semana tratando de assuntos de seu interesse.
c) Você diz: “entendo, é normal, é uma pena que não poderemos passar o final de semana juntos”. Porém você busca uma possibilidade de estar lá no mesmo hotel que ele (a) e acaba “passando” por lá para vê-lo (a).
d) Você fica bombardeando ele (a) de perguntas até ter a certeza de que realmente é um treinamento e que ele realmente é obrigado a ir sozinho sem poder levá-la (o).

Como ter Relacionamentos Saudáveis e se Livrar dos Ciúmes?Reação Nº 06

Vocês saem juntos para uma balada. Você tem a impressão de que seu parceiro dança mais vezes que de costume com outras pessoas. Qual será sua possível reação?

Como ter Relacionamentos Saudáveis

a) Nenhum problema, meu parceiro gosta de mim e eu gosto dele. Tenho confiança e isso não vai mudar dançando com alguém.
b) Isso está indo longe demais. Quando ele (a) parar de dançar, vou falar um monte.
c) Bem, acho que está na hora de ir embora. Esse lugar está ficando chato.
d) Você o chama no canto e lhe dá um conselho em forma de ordem “quero que fique comigo, não suporto mais isso”.

Como ter Relacionamentos Saudáveis e se Livrar dos Ciúmes?Reação Nº 07

Vocês vão juntos a uma festa. Você percebe que estão dando em cima de seu parceiro (a). Qual será sua reação?

Como ter Relacionamentos Saudáveis

a) Você fica chateado (a), porém leva na esportiva, mas certamente fica triste e magoada por ele (a) não evitar.
b) Você se diverte juntamente com a situação e sente-se satisfeito (a) por saber que ele (a) é desejado (a) por outras pessoas.
c) Você faz questão de ir embora o quanto antes
d) Você fica agressivo (a) com ele (a) e com as outras pessoas.

Tabela de interpretação e de contagem dos pontos.

Perguntas 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

A – 5 0 10 8 10 0 10

B – 0 5 0 0 0 5 0

C – 8 10 5 10 8 8 8

D – 10 8 0 0 10 10 8

Pontuação máxima 70 pontos

Interpretação (para reflexão)

De 38 a 70 pontos

Você tem tendência a revelar comportamento de ciúmes que muitas vezes não tem razão para existir.

Ao que parece você se expõe constantemente ao risco de descobrir motivos de suspeita em determinadas formas de comportamento de seu parceiro.

Você se sente um tanto inseguro e seu ciúme deve prejudicá-lo em muitas relações. Reveja seus conceitos e busque acreditar em sua capacidade de manter alguém ao seu lado por conta daquilo que você pode oferecer, acredite mais em você.

De de 8 a 37 pontos

Você muitas vezes tem ciúme sem motivo, porém isso não chega a dominar suas relações, pois isso se manifesta com baixa frequência e talvez com motivos que o deixaram um tanto em suspeita, porém você acredita em você e na sua capacidade de manter suas relações. Você parece ter domínio sobre as situações críticas e consegue fazer um autoexame demonstrando compreensão pelo outro (a).

Pontuação abaixo de 08 pontos

Você se sente seguro o bastante em sua relação para não sentir ciúme.

Não levanta suspeita sobre o parceiro e busca uma relação positiva nutrindo a relação de sentimentos valorativos, não tendo necessidade de discutir rivalidades.

Em face de uma possível boa comunicação que procura estabelecer, o ciúme não é desejável e nem necessário pelo seu ponto de vista.

Então, o que encontrou em seu teste? Deixe seu comentário aqui!

Deseja saber mais sobre como ter um relacionamento saudável, duradouro e feliz? Escrevi um e-book onde eu falo de 5 atitudes que deve excluir de sua vida para que seus relacionamentos sejam duradouros, felizes e saudáveis e você pode garantir o seu no link abaixo enquanto ainda está disponível.

Gostou do conteúdo? Compartilhe com amigas e amigos como forma de fazer com que elas possam se beneficiar assim como você!

Beijos,
Fique com DEUS!

Renata Araujo Coach

Oi, tudo bem? Seja bem vinda! Sou Psicóloga, Coach de Vida e Relacionamentos, Consultora em Relacionamentos Afetivos para mulheres, sou uma eterna estudante, aprendiz e apaixonada por ajudar.

Você também irá gostar:

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